I’m currently reading the book You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero.
I’m not very far into it, page 63 to be exact. But she made a bold statement that really stood out to me as I was reading it. It’s in the chapter about realizing how great you really are and figuring out all the ways in which you shine.
In the middle of the page, Jen simply tells us that, “Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life.”
Whoa. Like, seriously. That’s a pretty true statement, isn’t it?
Think about it for a minute. If you’re anything like me, and I pray you’re not because I am utterly exhausting; you may spend a lot of time in your head. Lord knows I do.
I can be trucking along, minding my own business, when WHAM. Did you see what so-and-so is doing? Did you see her new shoes? Did you hear about her promotion? Can you believe how great she looks?
It doesn’t matter what it is, but I can find myself stopping and forgetting every success I have ever had or everything I’ve been working toward based on one other person’s triumph. And then the self-doubt kicks in;
Gee, I don’t know. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to do what she has done. I mean, it’s going to be so difficult and I’m just not as good as she is..
What could I possibly have to write about or say that hasn’t already been covered? I just don’t have what it takes..
She is so patient with her children. Have you ever seen anyone LOVE being a mother as much as she does? She’s constantly doing things with her kids, and they’re SO well-behaved. What am I doing wrong?!
But the truth is, those are lies. All too often we let fear and jealousy stand in our own way when we know quite well that we are more than capable. Or we see how well someone is doing and we completely forget all the blessings we already have. Isn’t it silly how sometimes we can let someone else’s something good make us forget our own something good?
When we stop concentrating on what we have and what we’re doing and start believing the lies that we’ll never be good enough, then all we’re doing is setting ourselves up for failure.
I know we’re all guilty of doing this. Maybe some of us more than others, but I feel there are a couple good lessons to learn from this:
- We should always be cheering on women for succeeding; even if it’s in an area we also want to excel in. I really don’t see any other option here. This world can be a difficult place, especially for a woman. When we see someone really going after what they want in life, and they get it (or even if they don’t get it), we should stand up and applaud them.
- Chelsea Handler said it best, in the most serious interview I’ve ever seen her do when she said there is always room for you. (I don’t remember how exactly she said it, I know she didn’t make it rhyme like I just did, but it was really a great message. Trust me, you should Google it).
The point is, there is no one else in this world exactly like you. Or me. Or any of us. We are all uniquely unique in our own way, and it doesn’t matter if other people have what we want, or are succeeding in areas we dream about. (Mushy Alert) If we work hard and keep pushing forward and never give up, we too, are capable of having what we want in life.
We just need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Stop comparing what they have to what we may or may not have. We need to count our blessings and keep moving forward. And for the love of everything good, we have to stop caring what other people think.
Here are some special things that I know to be true and unique about myself:
- I’m really, really good at starting IVs. Random, perhaps. True? Absolutely.
- I’m super-efficient at putting together items that come with instructions (like shelves and other furniture pieces, toys, etc.)
- I always say a prayer whenever I see an emergency vehicle heading off somewhere with lights and sirens.
- I’m loyal. I’ve had the same best friend for over 26 years, and the same dog for almost 11. When I love ya, I’m with ya.
- I’ve been published in a book, although it happened when I was about 10 – I wrote a poem and it won a contest and ended up in a book that I never ended up getting a copy of. So I guess it probably doesn’t count for much, except every now and then I think to myself that it’s out there somewhere.. words of perception from little ole’ me.
- I’m a speed reader. Once, on a seven-day vacation with my husband, I read 5 or 6 books. I can’t remember because I lost count.
I may not be writing full-time. I may not be the most patient mother or keep the cleanest house. I may not feel swimsuit ready with a vacation in the near future.
But that’s okay. I am blessed, I am talented, I love and I am loved. I am done comparing myself to others.
Things I should probably mention:
Quote taken from You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero.